Today was a very tough day for us. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. I went in this afternoon for a doctor's appointment since it had been over a week since my last appointment. Everyone felt bad and asked how I was doing. I told my doctor I was alright, but really worried that something was going to happen to Ben. I have had that fear from the very beginning of this pregnancy. I think it is due to the fact that getting pregnant for us was not easy and a very difficult time for me. My doctor said that I was still measuring very big and my cervix had not changed from last week. He wanted to go ahead and do another ultrasound to see how big Ben is getting. The ultrasound showed that he is about 9 lbs. That is even bigger than we originally thought. He offered to go ahead and do a c-section in the morning or stay with the induction on Monday. He recommended going ahead with the c-section. He said if we wait until Monday that I am at a high risk of having to do a c-section anyways due to the baby's size, an unfavorable cervix for induction, and me being overweight. That was one of the toughest decisions we have ever had to make. I really wanted to give it a shot at having him vaginally, but we decided that what was most important is that Ben arrives safely and is healthy. So we are going ahead with the c-section tomorrow at 7am. Please don't leave any negative comments saying we made the wrong decision. I know that they can be off with the weight and he could end up being around 8 pounds, but on the other hand it can be off the other direction and he could be closer to 10 pounds. This was very hard for us and we aren't doing it because we can't wait until Monday or because I am getting uncomfortable. We just feel that we should follow what our doctor recommends.
Please pray for us tomorrow, that everything goes well and that we have a healthy baby boy. Please also pray that I will have peace with this decision.
